Popularity and "who's your coach?"

Popularity begins with fitting in. At our rink, most skaters belong to our FSC (figure skating club), and are all supposed to show good sportsmanship and support each other. But there is still an "in" crowd, broken into cliques depending on age, level and discipline, and if you are not "in", you definitely stand out or worse, fade into the background... So how do you become "cool" and make friends?

The most important question the parent or skater will be asked seems to be "Who's your coach?" If you take lessons with a top coach, it may not guarantee you will be liked, but at least you will be noticed, known and high-fived -- having "bonding" opportunities and fitting in to some degree. If you take from a lesser coach, you will need to work harder on every level to be part of the team, coming to skate everyday at a place where "everybody knows your name" (NOT.)

To a lesser degree, parents can help or hinder popularity. They need to chat with the right people (parents of the "stars" or well-liked kids, board members, etc.), sit with the right people, do a favor and offer to pick up or drop off a popular skater, and very importantly: gossip "correctly."

If a skater hopes to fit in, get cheers and support from their peers or have someone to talk to or sit with between sessions, feeling "part of the club," they are sliding a slippery slope (to be or do, or to not be or not do, or ???.) So, some just come and work on their skating and are not bothered by acceptance. Some are shy. But others are very much aware of their club and it can be daunting to a young, growing personality to not "really" be part of the club, even though they paid to be a member for years, show up every day to skate, try to fit in and make friends... What are they doing "wrong?" Will this social acceptance or lack of, ultimately effect their enjoyment of the sport?

I don't think that the youngest skaters are seriously effected by social stigma, but as the blade turns, skaters develop and hit puberty -- is it important for a skater to fit in and have friends at the rink they skate at? I think it is, since the other "rink rats" are the kids that understand what it takes to train and compete. Friends at school or down the street can't really understand or offer support. As a matter of fact, my skater has had friends (more than one) urge them to skip a session to "play." My skater has to explain to them that they want to skate, and to skate, they have to go and train. There is rarely time off. It's hard. Which is why they need friends at their rink who are also skaters and who understand. And who else can your skater share the thrill of finally landing their (double, triple) axel cleanly with (and again, who will really understand, besides their coach or other skaters)?

Well, no matter, as your skater will learn along with technique, life is hard and slippery as ice, whether you are in school, playing another sport, or at the rink. But meanwhile, by the way, who's your coach?